The Unwritten Rule of Exercise.

So I started jogging a few weeks ago. And by 'started' I mean, I went once with my housemate and then feebly attempted it a few times afterwards by myself. Now, there's something you have to know about me and I hope it doesn't destroy our relationship, but, I'm not one for exercise, in fact I never have been. While all the kids were tackling one another in rugby, I was picking clovers on the side of the field and dare I admit, making chains with them to wear on my head (sounds gay - wrong, it's awesome); while teammates were skidding back and forth across the court, whacking the tennis ball from side to side, I was waiting patiently in my square for the moment when I could smash it with all my pre-pubescent strength over the fences, effectively ending the game (they eventually caught on and I'd just watch as my teammate took on our two opponents, crying and moaning with every hit like some B-grade pornstar); and while all the girls and boys playing netball were scoring points and running around on their skinny little legs with those horrible netball shirts on, I was yelling 'If you need! If you need!' from my position in the corner of the court - the corner the ball never went too, and when that didn't work there was always the odd profanity to throw at the opposition (Christian school - worst it got was 'Aim better stupidhead!') or even a cheer if they were lucky (and by cheer I mean the Kirsten Dunst BE AGGRESSIVE type, not the one commonly associated with Christmas spirit).

And they were all surprised when I came out. God. But here is the realisation that I stumbled across while jogging for the third time in my life; not only were my calves burning like a male prostitutes syphilis, but I wasn't as self-conscious as I believed I would be. When you're putting your headband on, tightening your short shorts and pulling your socks up to your knees there's a certain air of nervous excitement, you feel as if you are about to display yourself to the entire world with all your flaws in view of any one of those judging Melburnians and you begin to feel that perhaps you are making a mistake; but you are wrong my friend.

I can't give you any historical detail to what can only be called a natural phenomenon but when you are jogging, there is no judgement coming from the multitude of people and driver's you'll pass; there is respect. Unspoken respect. It's as if they all say to themselves 'man, that jogger is making the effort to exercise and to better his body, so I'll be damned if I judge him for that, even if his shorts are ridiculously short,' and it's this recognition that I like to call the Unwritten Rule of Exercise (see title).

Since discovering this priceless knowledge, kind of like Cate at the end of Indiana Jones 4 - sure my eyes didn't burst into flames, but, better than that, I realised when the tables are turned, I myself sit in awe of those who exercise. I mean, come on guys, who can really be bothered? Those of you who are thinking 'me, you douchebag', well congrats, but the other ten thousand percent of us (that includes those who similar to me, had an exercise stint - infamous for delivering just enough results that you begin to think maybe you could get into a routine, only to find such a thing pales in comparison to watching Sailor Moon till one am, or perhaps living), well, you'll probably understand what I'm speaking of. There are people to respect - like Obama and your friends Dad who is doctor - and then there are people to respect, like Wes Andersen, Tina Fey and, I believe, those who exercise.

So I think you should all give it a try, because on a completely superficial level you get sweet kudos from passerbys and sure, it can add years to your life and save you from slow, terrible deaths but who cares about that anyway!? Oh god, I feel a cheer coming on...

In other news, watch The Life Aquatic to see hilarious and moving genius on screen, then read Piaf, Edith Piaf's biography written with tragic affection by her sister Simone Berteaut and listen to Ben Folds' Lonely Avenue, with each song written by Nick Hornby (who rules) for some great tunes. And then exercise, and not because you want to look like the chick in the metamucil ad, but because it's nice to feel respect every so often. Like that bitch Aretha Franklin always said. Maybe she was onto something.

Be back soon.

the boy atomic.

I'm sorry, that thing you're doing is scary.

Moving house is always fun. It's true, ask anyone. Ask the Obama's, they'd tell you it's the shit (particularly Michelle, that bitch has a foul mouth), or ask that guy from that thing who sold a paperclip for a condo, or ask Kendra when she was accepted into Hefner's inner circle; they'd all tell you, moving house is great. And it is; the packing of all your worldly possessions into the few scabby boxes Borders gave you, cleaning your old residency until it's the "same" as when you got it, even though it was covered in mould and smelt like debauchery and bongs when you moved in, paying half a months rent for two strangely attractive Israeli removalists to overcharge you and ask for petrol money home (no surprises there - not racist), changing over all your addresses with every possible company, account and person you've ever been involved with EVER, and then come those few days of not really living here or there; when your room is in disarray, where you can't find that box that contains your toiletries but you easily find that useless object that you just keep because you might need it one day, where the unfurnished house echoes like some gargantuan cave, when you're still sizing up your housemates, discovering their weird habits, what they look like in the morning and how shitty their mood is on a scale of one to ten at night, and of course, perhaps the most terrifying of all; toilet etiquette.

Now this is where I struggle (figuratively), but it's not in the 'toilet lid up or down? toilet roll forward or back? do you flush in the middle of the night?' way, what am I three? Those things are long answered (lid down - always, paper forward - back is just inconvenient even though I'll admit it looks more presentable and always - I don't care if those assholes are woken up by the gushing pipes, no one wants to find stagnant pee in an unflushed toilet at 8 o'clock in the morning), no no, my problem lies with stage fright.

I walk into the toilet, I'm making noise, everything is good, my housemates are doing their thang, my bladder is ready to empty and then suddenly, as I stand over the toilet, about to begin an act which I have done countless times across the course of my life, everything goes quiet and I realise that the entire world is at the bathroom door, listening for that soft (or hard, depending on how much I've drank and how long I've held on) tinkling. And that's when I just can't go. I swear people must hold on for days because of this. I know I do. No I'm kidding, it's not that bad, though it could become one of those things, you know, like those women who make you take your shoes off at the front door and wear slippers through their house, or those men who lick their forefingers with every page they turn of the paper even when it is unnecessary; an insignificant habit that has slowly evolved in the corners of your life, something you don't even realise is getting worse until one day you find yourself cleaning the bottoms of your converse with a toothbrush and it hits you that you're that scary guy everyone avoids on the street, whose glasses are too big and three prescriptions too strong, whose brown cardigan is a little too saggy and over worn - who is more or less a serial killer.

I won't become a serial killer, I promise. But if I ever do, I beg you now to gently remind me of this very blog and this very promise; without making eye contact of course, otherwise I'll probably stab you and take you home to my basement family.

But enough of this crazy talk. Moving house has been great, my housemates are three wonderful actors (yes, they only speak in Shakespearean and yes, we have crazy drug-fuelled orgies) and the house is BEAUTIFUL. So just ignore the last four paragraphs of hilarious negativity. Besides, I'm all for positivity, just ask those kids I throw rocks at for being stupid.

In other news, read classic Breakfast at Tiffany's, every gay boy's favourite 100 page novel, then sit down and watch Taken followed by 30 Rock Season 4, for some decent 'man goes on revenge path and literally kills every person he meets' action smashed with golden comedy from the greatest show to ever be screened (it's not Two and a Half Men!? Gasp!) and then listen to Eliza Doolittle's self-titled album for some springtime bubblegum pop (not as awful as it sounds).

Okay, the clock has struck midnight, it is time for me to go to bed, or at least finish watching Spice World. I want to know your potentially weird habits, comment below (you can do it without an account which is nice) so I can judge you and make myself feel like less of a douchebag.

I love you all.

A moment of clarity.

So I'm sitting on a tram, and I'm tired, my day has been huge and I'm ready to fall into my bed like it's no ones business, and I'm not sure why, it may be the dangerous mix of Vampire Weekend playing in my ears and general all-round tiredness, but I suddenly realise that life is ridiculously good. I look around, at the Asian girl wearing absurd amounts of white fur, the middle-aged woman asleep with her mouth ajar, the young couple in matching cargo/converse get up and that weird guy who looked at me maybe too many times, and I'm suddenly overwhelmed by their presence; by other human beings, with all their talents and their flaws, but not even these things seem to be overwhelming me, it's more just human beings, being.

We make wars, and we make families, we run countries and we fret over that text message from that girl, and we dress ourselves every morning, and we feel all these bizarre emotions for all these bizarre reasons, and the smallest thing can change our mood, like a guy wearing a nice pair of shoes, or a breeze in the sun, or an unknown person smiling in your direction, and you are all as amazingly complex as myself, yet, on the other hand, we are all so similar and so simple. Simple in a lovely way. And that's what I think I realised; that the human race is just lovely. And you could say I'm just a naive optimist, but I don't think that's such a bad thing. I'm not going to push anything on you; I just want to you to know, that I know how lovely you are. Whoever you are. And that is all.

In other news, today marked the completion of my latest film Universal. My third VCA short, and, if I may say so, my best film to date. It is unbelievably happy, and you can see the opening credits below (made by my awesome graphic designer brother Samantha). I know I promised screenshots of the film but I totally forgot, so this will have to do for now.

I can't believe my first year of film school is almost over and I still haven't watched The Godfather. I mean I tried, BUT IT WAS BORING! Don't kill me. But nevertheless, life is moving forward and there are huge things ahead. Read Eating Animals by Jonathan Safran Foer if you want to read the book that made half my family vegan (and myself it's lesser sidekick - vegetarian). Watch Romancing The Stone, an old but timeless masterpeice (perhaps), starring a young and stunning Micahel Douglas who sweeps Kathleen Turner off into a crazy Colombian jungle romp while looking super attractive to no end. And listen to the Black Rebel Motorcycle Club for some decent rock/indie/coolness with a little Strokes vibe, compliments of my housemate Eliza.

Also, I've had remarkable feedback from y'all since restarting this blog, so thankyou.

I love you all and I'll be back soon.

The boy atomic.

I'm back from the dead like that guy in that movie.

I'm back! Yes, I'm back. After a giant year of filmmaking, rent-paying and malnutrition I've decided to continue this wonderful blog; to once again pick up the metaphorical pen and begin writing again. You see, I originally began this blog to keep track of my life, so in twenty years we can all look back (and by we I mean me) and say 'What a crazy path to international stardom that young girl had!' and 'If he did it so can you!' etc etc. So I believe a recap is in order...

2010 has been the biggest year of my life. I've made amazing friends, met the strangest people, discovered Melbourne in all it's cultural and ridiculously arty glory, evaded tram fines thrice, received tram fines twice, stumbled across Savers, bought shitloads and I mean shitloads of clothing, ate more dumplings, sushi and BBQ Pork Won Ton Noodle Soup than is healthy, drank the equivalent to a small ocean in skinny lattes (don't judge), bought and killed five goldfish - in order of death - Kubrick, ( a week - loneliness) Oprah & Gail (Former from the superstrong filter, latter from her broken lesbian heart), Thursday (may have had to die for the sake of a film...) and Friday (the star of the film who survived seven days and OD'd due to overexposure to the paparazzi/celebrity life/ etc - christened Brittany Murphy post-death), saw the Room three times, fell in love, fell out of love, became a vegetarian (which I have sustained enthusiastically against all odds - particularly my mother, who thinks I'm retarded), read books, like proper, amazing books, started a terribly lame endeavour to become a poet, ventured out of my box so often it became normal, stumbled home singing showtunes, had a two-week smoking phase that consisted mainly of bum-puffing and crazy nicotine rushes that still make me feel nauseous at the thought, doubled my DVD collection, survived on $20 for thirteen days, found two awesome housemates, saw a ballet (which was terrifying), saw Gandalf perform (which was long) and saw a transvestite singing Gaga (which was enthralling), had moments of beautiful clarity, cried for hours, talked for hours, slept for hours, lost my beachboy tan, forgot bin night more times than not, saw amazing films that changed my life, bought a Princess Leia bobble-head, a typewriter and a glass jug that has no use. And that's all outside of film school. So far I've made three films, one shit, one good and one that I adore, learnt amazing skills, had my confidence injected with some sort of heavily illegal steroid, talks from John Pierre Jeunet, Adam Elliot, Stephen Cleary and other respectably amazing people, learnt what the hell the 'white balance' button does on a camera, crewed on over twenty shoots, snuck on set of the Killer Elite for a day and more or less took another wonderfully paced step towards my future.


But above all that, in 2010 I found myself... I had to write it. But don't be fooled, I didn't find myself in the 'Julia Roberts travel around the world and eat pray love everything ever' sort of way, I found myself in the 'teenager moves away from home whose only option is to delve inside and find strengths he never knew he had while simultaneously falling in love with the world and life and humanity and buying awesome clothes' sort of way. And it's true, I knew this year was going to be big, but I could never have imagined the lessons I've learnt, the truths I've discovered and the beauty I've stumbled across in 2010. What a massive year.


So as well as returning like John Farnham does every second year, I think this whole blog needs a bit of reinvention, and we're talking Madonna in 2000's reinvention, and not that Cowgirl/Double-Denim shit, we're talking Ticking Clocks and Pink Leotards baby, so in light of that, I will be redesigning a tad, for the new year and also because we're all a bit tired of this blue on black thing.


I'll make sure to have some screenshots up of my last films. At the moment I'm editing my major production; Universal, a series of shorts about LOVE and not death or sex or incest or anything of depressive nature, so once it's all wrapped up and looking beautiful I will put some stuff up. Unfortunately the Victorian College of the Arts doesn't allow it's film students to upload their films to YouTube or vimeo or whatever else the kids are using these days for free porn so chances are you will never see them, unless you really want copies and I would happily mail them too you. I'm also thinking of perhaps trying to get Universal into some festivals; I mean, it wouldn't hurt right? So we'll see what happens...


Anyway, I know I've been gone for a bit and it may take some time to win you all over again but Daddy's home and he ain't going out for no more cigarettes, if you know what I'm trying to say. Read Cannery Row by John Steinbeck and see I Am Love by Luca Guadagnino for a life changing combo of Californian nostalgia and Italian melodrama starring Tilda Swinton with a side of BLOW YOUR MIND CLIMAX, and listen to Washington for some lovely singer-songwriter Springtime tunes.

I love you all and will be back in no time.

The boy atomic.

Hello/Goodbye.

How funny that tonight is my last night at home. Not really funny, although actually, being 17 and void of travel, experience and just general life, I guess it does have a certain oddness too it. Independence. Oh god. On one hand I want someone to suddenly burst out and say they are coming with me, but on the other hand (and the this is the hand that is reserved for deep truths that may be hard to admit), I know I should, and can, do it on my own.


So I will.


This blog is probably going to be a short one. Just something to say goodbye for a bit. You see, the thing with studying full time at one of the most rigorous courses in my country is that I will have little free time to do much else. Of course I'll have free time but something tells me it wont be spent blogging, as much as I'd like it to be.


So to everyone who has followed this blog (the very, very few of you), thanks so much. It feels nice to know that someone reads what I write and that maybe I've made some sort of mark on you or perhaps opened your eyes to something cool.


Of course, my blogging life isn't over, just for a few months, perhaps a year, we'll see. I'm not finished yet, and if you're lucky, my blogging may transform to VLOGGING. Yeah, damn right. Stay tuned friends!

Until next time,




The Boy Atomic.


PS: I'll leave you with my Badass Babe of the Week. I cant think of anyone better then Audrey Hepburn and if you find yourself with a little spare time, hire out Roman Holiday, her first and very best film. Adios!

The Next Ten Years.

First blog of the new decade. I feel like I should do something real special, like giveaway all my favourite things, or write a song summing up the last decade or give everyone Happy New Year Hugs. But these things (even those supremely rare Happy New Year Hugs) couldn't really put to words how excited I am for the next ten years.


You see, yes, the world is screwed, yes, we're in economic crisis, yes, Miley Cyrus is annoying, but I can't help to feel so excited and expectant of this decade. So much will be happening in the next ten years and I can barely comprehend the things we will all do, the places we will go, the people we will meet. Chances are, most of my friends will be married, parents perhaps, and the world will be a very different place, but I'm no longer worried about it. I once was (see The Future blog), but I've come to realise that we all grow up, and age brings about new things, more amazing things for us to plunder. And plunder we will.

I don't have a New Years Resolution, as I never fulfill them (2007: Exercise. 2008: Get a sixpack. 2009: Get a girlfriend. Anyone who knows me, knows none of these saw fruition) so instead I have a single goal: To go crazy on the next ten years. Which I will. And I encourage all of you too as well. Lets make the next ten years the greatest, most exciting ten years the world has ever seen.

Lets take hold of everyday and make the most of it, meet new people, see the world, make our dreams into realities. 2010 is the beginning of an awesome decade.


I'm not actually sure why I'm in such a good mood, it may be the dangerous combination of Michael Buble, sunny weather, film school acceptance and strawberry milk (take that lactose intolerance!) but I'm hoping its contagious.


In other news, Nine comes out in two days and there are SO many amazing films coming out this year! Check out Salt, Angelina's latest spy/awesomeness film.




Matthew Vaughn's Kick Ass, about a boy superhero (not shown - that's a girl everyone.)





Iron Man 2! Even better is the fact that Scarlet Johansson is playing Black Widow, the meanest German ever.



Also The Road, based on the amazing book, starring Aragorn and a cast of cannibals!

Other films to watch out for include Michael Gondry's The Green Hornet, Inception, The Men Who Stare At Goats, Narnia; Voyage of the Dawn Treader, Prince of Persia and Alice in Wonderland. I'm sure I will vomit these all back up in later blogs, reviews and all, so be prepared.

Also, today's Badass Babe Award goes to Penelope Cruz. But why I hear you asking? Probably because she is one of the hottest women alive, she can sing (see Nine) and she makes out with Johansson like a natural (see Vicki Christina Barcelona). Please note: You are not a pervert if this picture holds your gaze for more then five seconds. Right?


Remember, the next ten years are going to top them all.

Adios amigos.

Bones, Drones and Emma Stones.

Holy mother. What a massive couple of months! It seems like the HSC was only yesterday, yet it's now only a few days from Christmas and I find myself, once again, unorganised and unprepared. But, truthfully, nothing can burst my bubble right now, not even the looming shadow of Father Christmas (wielding a sharpened candy cane and a big red sack full of explosives) because less then 48 hours ago I discovered that I have got into film school. Please, save your applause and your congratulatory words for another occasion. I have got so many in the past two days that I now have a head the size of Jupiter and cheeks burning from the increased amount of smiling.

But nonetheless, this is the best news I have ever received (even better then 'I guess I can do it for $3.50', and 'We won't have to amputate your left testicle'), and now begins the countdown to that daunting day where I ascend (or perhaps descend) to independence and move to Melbourne, all alone, with only the clothes on my back, a wallet full of stolen cash and a photograph of my one love, Stella.

Actually, it won't be like that at all, I just thought that sounded romantic. In fact, the day will more likely be full of tears and hugs and delayed confessions of love, but that's the way I expect it to be god damn it!

In other news, the coming weekend brings with it the production of a Tropfest short film. A lady friend and I got talking and it was eventually revealed that not only was I eager to get experience on film sets, but that she was a filmmaker and was making a Tropfest film! (For those of you who don't know what Tropfest is, its the biggest short film festival in Australia and gets applicants from around the world. To even get into the top 50 is a big deal, let alone win it.)

So she has given me a title (The 1st Ad: I yell 'Prepare for shoot!' 'Prepare for rehearsal!' 'Where's my god damn skinny mocha you useless whores!?' etc, etc) but really I am just there to watch, listen and learn. Which is going to be awesome and I'm excited to say the least. Add the fact that she is going to give me a reference to throw into my resume and this weekend looks to be a win/win for everyone.

Not me! Yells Tiger Woods. Meh, who even cares about you? Not me. Actually, on that topic, what an idiot.

End of topic.

In movies news, all the films I have blogged about in the past few months are coming out and surprisingly enough, its the films I didn't blog about that are stealing my attention and love. Films like Zombieland and Paranormal Activity have made a serious impact on me while Where The Wild Things Are seems to have slipped under the radar. Avatar is yet to be released, but everyday the anticipation seems to build, so I hope that it delivers all James Cameron has promised.

Peter Jackson's The Lovely Bones is also something I am excited for, purely for its family-friendly content (rape, murder and crazy dead girls.) But all sarcasm aside, it looks fantastic.

Peter Jackson rules for a huge number of reasons. He makes hawaiian shirts cool, he lost heaps of weight without going on The Biggest Loser and he made Lord Of The Rings but aside from all of that, he emerged from tiny little New Zealand, successfully made the biggest movies series EVER and has sparked a huge boom in films being made there. So in that way I guess he's a bit of a role model for me. And he should be for anyone thinking it's impossible to reach success from nonexistent places.

I've also decided to make a section called: My Badass Babe For Today as we all know I'm obsessed with girls doing hot stuff in movies. Today, the Badass Babe Award goes to Emma Stone.

Not only because she is stunning, an awesome actress (and good acting is hot) but also because she fires a pump-action shotgun like a natural badass. Check out her asskicking performances in Zombieland, The House Bunny and Superbad. In my opinion, she blows the skimpy pants off Megan Fox or any other Hollywood 'hotties'.

Last but not least, I bought the Star Wars original trilogy on DVD and I am going to sit down and watch them all in their remastered glory.

And it's not my fault if I then buy Princess Leia memorabilia on Ebay.

Oh yeah.

The I-Have-No-Idea-What-You're-Saying Smile.

So I constantly find myself baring witness to something I can only call awkward. It's a little thing I like to call The I-Have-No-Idea-What-You're-Saying Smile. We all get them. We all give them. But you'd be wrong in thinking this is a cheesy slogan from an 80's porno.

For you see, this smile is so offensive and so pitiful that it is absolutely and completely taboo. It is so shameful that no one ever mentions it. It's like when a bum comes up to you and swears rapidly in a foreign tongue; he's right there, but you're forced to ignore him or risk being stabbed/shot/choked/spat on or if you're really unlucky, followed for several kilometres until you jump into a moving vehicle to escape the foul-smelling hell he has beseeched upon you.

The common scenario for the I Have No Idea Smile usually begins with a friendly chat between two people - BUT WAIT - this is no friendly chat at all, as one of the persons has somewhere to be OR has more important things on the mind OR doesn't like the person they are chatting too. Ulterior motives one could say. So from the start this chat is doomed to end badly.

They begin to discuss something irrelevant and most probably boring as ass and then the desperate person who has entered this conversation with all intentions too leave fazes out and gives the I Have No Idea What You're Saying Smile and BOOM! - the revelation dawns on the other that they have just been the victim of THE SMILE.

All dignity you once had is out the door. The level of respect that person had for you drops to 'NONEXISTENT' and they come to one of two realisations: 1) They realise they must be boring and vow to never be boring again or 2) They realise they don't really like you that much anymore. Either way, this Smile is monumental.

But it is those of us who can identify the Smile and stop it in it's tracks that are the best off. You see, I'm a bit of a pussy and I avoid confrontation but if I'm ever given the I Have No Idea What You're Saying Smile I will most definitely say something along these lines: 'You have no idea what I just said do you?' or 'Oh my god, you cheap bastard, you're not even listening!' or 'You just smiled when I told you I almost had my scrotum amputated!' And trust me, that last line is used far more often then you think.

So I say we bring an end to all awkwardness that the Smile manifests. Instead, as a species, we should vow to always confront a person if they ever throw one at us, or perhaps (and this suggestion is probably less fun but morally right) actually start listening to people. But when has listening ever helped the world?

Never! Chants every deaf person in the world. I'm sorry, disabilities aren't funny. Except for that one where they turn into Elephants.

In light of this I have started a facebook group: http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/group.php?gid=166557059441&ref=mf - this way we can share our experiences and opinions on the I Have No Idea What You're Saying Smile.

I have also seen Terry Gilliam's The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus twice and it is brilliant and confusing and amazingly well made. I truly suggest you see it because not only is it Heath Ledger's final performance, it also stars Lily Cole, the most perfect woman in the entire world. I call dibs everyone.

She is a supermodel/actress/giant and she is generally amazing at everything. Also, I thought I might add an update to my film school quest. I got the interview. This is HUGE news. This means I can go down to Melbourne on the 19th and hopefully destroy the VCA and everyone in it. This is it guys. I'll be certain to give you a blow by blow recount when it happens which I'm sure you'll all really enjoy but if I get the feeling I'm getting any cyber I Have No Idea Smile's I will - probably do nothing.

Then again, I may hunt you down.

Until next time my darlings...

The Future.

Does the future scare you? I like to think it doesn't, I like to think I am excited for the future but in actual fact, yes, the future does scare me. I don't think it scares me because I'm afraid of death, or pain, or strife, that sort of thing is a definite in life and something we must deal with when the time comes, I think I am actually scared of the future because I'm afraid I won't like what I find.

It seems like everyone and everything in our world today is aiming for a 'big, bright future where all our problems are forgotten and all our needs are fulfilled!' but when I actually think about it, I don't want that. I mean, the first flying car has already been made and the other night I discovered I can watch live video feeds from hundreds of thousands of camera's all around the world (see Earthcam.com) yet this is not a comforting thought.

When I think about the depictions of the future in sci-fi films (Bladerunner, The Fifth Element, I Robot etc) I never ever think, 'oh, I can't wait to live in a world like that!' and I'm sure you'd agree, so why is every scientist and inventor in the world trying to create that? I like doing the dishes by hand, sleeping in a nice comfy bed, in a normal house that isn't just another claustrophobic block in the middle of a huge apartment complex and I like having the freedom to aspire and to travel and to explore the world and tests my limits.

It's a shame to see how much we've changed even in 100 years. When our parents were young you barely had to fill in a form to travel the world, yet nowadays we have to have more than enough money in the bank, and a green card and fit into a thousand different categories. In our grandparent's day they'd just get on a boat and sail wherever they pleased. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't particularly want to live in their day (although I do love tea and scones and pretentiousness) but on the other hand I don't want to live in the scary, hopeless depictions we see in films and books. I want to live now.

Would it be too naive of me to ask if the whole world could just stop growing? I mean, please by all means, continue finding cures to terrible diseases, but stop making space ships, invisibility cloaks (I kid you not) and nuclear weapons. Let's just have an international timeout.

But alas, I am no Barack Obama, just a kid of 17 looking for a good time, therefore what I say has no weight in the real world, but that doesn't mean it's not of any worth. I hope the human race takes heed of the many warnings we have been given across the last century, that we wont just be some species, on some planet that wipes themselves out, allowing other species from other planets to make documentaries about our sad demise.

Although I wouldn't mind seeing that.

In other news, The Sartorialist (an internationally renowned blog that photographs real people wearing awesome things) has released a book - and I want it. http://thesartorialist.blogspot.com/

This blog is brought to you by freerice.com - every question you get right, 10 grains of rice is donated to a 3rd world country.

Best idea since Hermione Granger.

My Life & Nicholas Cage.

Of late I have noticed my blogs getting bigger and bigger and spreading to more and more topics. Not that it worries me, but I started this blog to show the few readers that I have my path to fame, fortune and all those other good things. You see I want to make films for the rest of my life and I want to do it well, so in light of this recent revelation, I shall update you on my aspirations and what I am currently doing to reach them.

First and foremost I am now a film-schooler-in-waiting, preparing to get an email any day now from the Victorian College of Arts, beckoning me to fly down to them and have an interview. For those who do not know, the VCA was the first film school in Australia and is the NIDA of film schools. This place is hard to get into but those who do reap the rewards. To get into the VCA I had to apply in August, receiving tests in September that I had four weeks to complete and send back in.

The first was a short story using one of these criteria: 'A Fresh Start' and 'The Travelling Companion' of which I chose A Fresh Start. My short story (800 words max, which is nothing making it hard to write in) told the tale of an office worker who lets his imagination get the better of him. The story was morbid, I will admit and may have ended with a black twist but nevertheless I am happy with it. The second test was a series of photo's using the criteria 'No Way Out' or 'Itching' of which I chose Itching, creating a semi-autobiographical tale of a boy itching to travel the world. The difficulty with this was I could only use 9 photographs, meaning each photo had to tell a tale of its own, building character, story and it had to have a unpredictable twist at the end.

My twist was not a bad one; I mean, I didn't want them to get the image I was a screwed up teenage boy with a penchant for writing deranged and gruesome stories did I? Even though I may be. So, with a need to prove I was a flexible creator, the boy leaves, suitcase in hand, finally leaving to fulfil his dreams, when he is stopped by the girl of his dreams. We then flash forward to show him with a family, aged and.... happy? Yes happy.

The moral of this story (I always have a moral; they rule) is as reassuring to me as it probably is to anyone; Even if you stray from your dreams, you can always find happiness. This is good thing to remember in case I end up living on the streets begging for money. You can find the series of photographs at my flickr here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/theboyatomic/sets/72157622491988217/detail/

The rest of the tests were: a Statement of why I had to get into the course (not being modest but it kicked ass), a Resume of all film and film related things I had done and finally 2 Hypothetical Film Ideas I would like to make if I get in. Now, I would tell you those but they aren't copyrighted and I really do want to make them. Sorry guys.

Since then I have re-edited The Room, cleaning up what needed to cleaned up and really just tried to relax as much as possible. If I don't now, I never will. Since school is over I have also decided to follow in the footsteps of the great Baz Luhrmann and write a screenplay while I am young. Baz (we're on a first name basis) wrote his first film Strictly Ballroom while he was at NIDA and made it into a feature film when he finished. This is inspiring I guess and makes me want to do the same.

So that's that. I'm sorry if you are now lying dead before your computer. When your parents run in after calling you for dinner several times I'm sure they will look at what you were reading, and if they survive further than you I pray that they read this; I'm sorry for killing your child. There, that takes a load off of my mind.

In other news, most of the films I have blogged about are nearing their releases. Including Where the Wild Things Are, Avatar, Nine and 9. I promise to see them as soon as I can as to warn you or encourage you depending on my critique of them. Although, my words may be bias though as I am easy to please (just ask your mum), but seriously, all I need is a big screen, popcorn and that warm atmosphere of the cinema and anything that appears before me gets the thumbs up.

Unless that thing is Nicholas Cage.

I will admit, as much as I hate him, that is a great photo, really draws out his eyes.

Until next time guys...

Two Months Later....

So here I sit, sick and exhausted, on this cold, cold night, making the decision to actually blog once again. Its been two months guys so I guess a cliche line like long time, no see is in order. Maybe a why didn't you call? Or a where is my daughter you thieving bastard!? I'm joking, I know where she is.

I wonder what you have all been doing over the past few months? Tell me, I'm interested. My months followed the path of stress, stress, stress really, I handed in my short film (after leaping and pouncing catlike over the many obstacles it threw before me), did my trial exams, took a trip to Melbourne, applied to film school in Melbourne, effectively defended myself and brutally obliterated the army of tests they sent to prove my worth, finished year 12, had my formal (or 'prom' for you amero-canadians), partied, celebrated, studied, revised and got sick. But don't get the idea it was bad. Trust me, it has been a great few months. But now I must study for those ugly exams that are flying PowerPoint style towards me with horrible classical music accompanying them. And study I will.

I've also decided to post some photos of my adventures over the past few months as proof they exist and as a reasonable excuse as to why I haven't blogged. I am sorry, really. First off we have two of my favourite images from my film The Room. Just in case you forgot, The Room is about four teens who run away from reality into an imaginary place where all their problems are forgotten. The first image is from a scene where The Room shows its supernatural, random self by dressing the characters in Shakespearian, the second from the finale when they realise it is evilllll (cue spooky music and ghost cry).....



Here is the proof of my Melbourne visit:

Our final days of school:

And here is one of the only formal photos that survived my scrutinous 'Do-I-Look-Like-An-Absolute-Douchebag?' test. The stunning girl in the middle is Mel and my best friend Dan on the left:

But enough about that. I want to talk film and television now. Here is the list of films and shows I have watched over the past two months that I now recommend to you:

List of Films and Shows I Have Watched Over The Past Two Months That I Recommend To You

1. Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist - Yes I know, came out two years ago but it really is one of the greatest films I have ever seen. Truthfully. Do you know how hard it is to make it into my 'Greatest Films of I Have Ever Seen' list? Its almost as hard as the 'People I Want To Murder With An Axe In Particular Lady Gaga' list. This film is awesome, the dialogue, the content, the adventurous plot and the characters. Oh and the music. All in all this is a top film. See it.

2. Adventureland - This film was amazingly good. I entered extremely skeptical, seeming as I hate Twilight and everyone in it, but Kristen Stewart and her co-star Jesse Eisenberg were awesome. Add to that a good storyline and a sweet setting (in a theme park in the late 80's) and I was pleasantly surprised to say the least. Warning: May have overused teen angst themes, but what doesn't these days?

3. Atonement - Holy crap guys. I can't explain to you how good this film is. All I can say is see it. Now. Stop what you're doing, tell everyone you know to leave you alone, take the phone off the hook and watch it. You will be moved and astounded by its visual beauty and the awesome storyline.

4. Dan In Real Life - So, I'm have a confession and it goes something like this: I'm in love with Juliette Binoche. This film is rad. Steve Carrell and other awesome people (including Dane Cook and Miss. Binoche) star in this indie flick (of sorts) about a dude with three daughters, going back to his hometown for a big family gathering. Action ensues. Top film, be prepared to fall in love with Juliette. Favourite Quote: YOU ARE A MURDER OF LOVE!

5. Vicky Christina Barcelona - Self explanatory. This film is fantastic. A definite buy-before-you-see sort of film. Johansson is on par with her Lost In Translation days, Javier Bardem is excellent and Penelope Cruz is well - Penelope Cruz. Yes, this is a great film.

6. Gossip Girl - Okay, I think I've said it before but there is no judging on my blog. So all those evil thoughts you just sent my way were just destroyed by my automatic judge-sensing machine guns. Besides, this show is addictive as hell and even though in every episode this guy is dumping that girl and that girl is with this guy etc etc everyone is good looking, the acting is good, the clothing is amazing and the city is awesome so what more could you want? Watch it before you shut it down and I guarantee you will get hooked.

7. Glee - This show seemed to go off the rails in its pilot but surprisingly I think it may just pick itself back up. Sure the characters are predictable and two-dimensional and sure the show probably has a shelf life, but it is the first of its kind and the music is good so I think we should all help it out a little. If not, lets destroy it mercilessly but keep the concept alive - perhaps some aspiring teenage legend will come up with a better, long lasting idea for a musical TV show? Who knows....

8. Pushing Daisies - My brother always told me this was his favourite show and I never really took any notice. That was before I bought him the first season on DVD. This show is so well made. I mean it. Its about a pie maker who brings the dead back to life for a minute with a single touch but if they are alive any longer than a minute, they are alive forever and something of equal value dies in their place. Every episode, location and scene is stylised though ie. The pie shop is all in shades of green and the waitresses house is all in pink and white floral. ITS AMAZING. And INSPIRING. You must see it to understand how cool it is. So - see it!

9. 30 Rock - This has been my all time favourite show for quite some time so I just thought I should remind y'all about it as I love it more than I've ever loved a show. Tina Fey is a genius. The 13 Emmy's (or something crazy like that) prove it. Watch this show.

So that's my list. I know, its kind of small, but thats just your entree. There will be more. Unfortunatley as mentioned before I am sick and that means I am slowly dying inside as I type each word.......

Adios!

Some crazy Basterds and some average Joes.

It was a cold, windy night, as I sat in my study, playing on the many useless distractions of the mighty interweb when, out of the blue, I receive a call from my eldest sister, who proceeds to, without a single breath, inform me, in a high-pitched-hasty-tone, that Inglorious Basterds was premiering in the beautiful city of Sydney and that Quentin Tarantino was going to be there, on the red carpet, and that tickets were selling fast. Well, in the words of the great Velma Kelly, I completely blacked out, I cant remember a thing, it wasn't until later, as I was printing off three, deliciously crisp tickets I even knew they were dead!

No one was dead. Don't get your knickers in a knot. But three days later I was walking down the red carpet, towards the entrance to the State Theatre when, low and be-bloody-hold, there, speaking animatedly to a journo, is my absolute hero, Quentin Tarantino.

You can't hate me if I wet my pants a little alright? There's no judging on this blog. So, I proceeded into the theatre after a little hyperventilating (in the completely stereotypical oh my god oh my god way) to have my mismatched socks completely blown off by his latest film Inglorious Basterds.

What an amazing film. I won't say too much though as I'm pretty sure there was some rule on the tickets saying I shall die a long and painful death if I utter even a whisper of the contents of the production. What I will say is, it was long, full of delectable, drawn out dialogue that only Tarantino can produce, equalled in intense, ear-splitting (in the best way possible), graphic action and too top it off featured some the greatest music I've ever seen accompanied with a film, and that's saying something, because I'm deaf.

I'm not deaf. And I have no intention to offend those who are. The film was amazing though and when it finally hits screens (more like sucker punches screens - followed by repeated stabbings in the chest and jugular - followed by several roundhouses kicks and finished off with double eye gouges) you must see it. Even the girls who hate violence. I mean, it's Brad Pitt, don't all girls just froth over the opportunity to see Brad Pitt act? Talk? Blink? Live a life in reverse, turning from an old, saggy man into a young, good looking boy, continuing onwards (or more like backwards) to the single sperm and egg we are all made from? (C'mon, you've all seen it...or guessed at least). So there.

In other news, I think I may have been right about GI: JOE, which was viewed by my eyeballs last night. Okay. Here's the breakdown. Sienna Miller was hot, stole every scene and fought like a feisty cat (and we like that okay?), Channing Tatum (the guy from all those fairy-boy films) was mediocre but that may be because the script gave the illusion (and quite convincingly) that three 7 year old girls had wrote it.

It was that bad. I tried to see the good in the film, I really did, but even the impressive chase scenes couldn't outweigh the rest of the film, which got progressively more unbelievable as the film went on. You have to see it though, its a blockbuster and not many come round a year. Truthfully I kept on expecting the vehicles to transform and start fighting. They didn't.

So, filming for The Room (go back a few blogs, 'tis my major work) is almost wrapped up and although being the sole organiser has been difficult, its has also been awesomely rewarding and fantastic. I can't wait until I can have professionals surrounding me, working as a team to make my ideas into awesome realities.

And believe you me, they will be awesome realities.

But as I am currently crushed beneath a billion tonnes of work (I managed to find my laptop and wifi to write this, and oddly enough I comfy cushion made from denim with a pretty little heart stitched - okay.) I must now begin to complete it (or at least set fire to it, peice by peice) so until next time; adios amigos.

Does anyone like Politics?

I don't know about you but I find politics completely boring. Now, I'm young and free (and single, so if you're looking for a good time call me) and politics have never really affected me, nor I to them. You see, I'm focused on what I perceive as more important things instead of being worried about rebates, reforms and recessions, in fact, you could say I loathe politics. Although loathe is a big word, the sort you save for people who chew with their mouths open, enjoy Nicholas cage films and hate ABBA.

So, with this knowledge, you will understand why I would be slightly insulted in this situation:

Friend: So what are you doing after school?

Me: Going to film school biiitch!

Friend: Really? I thought you were going into politics?

Me: What? Really?

Friend: Yeah, I swear you told me that once.

Me: Had you just seen me inject drugs into my arm because I don't think I would ever sanely tell someone that.

Friend: Hey, settle down, you'd actually suit the part.

Me: *slaps*

I didn't actually slap him (because slapping is weak and a punch to the mouth would have been more efficient) but I was unsure whether to be offended or complimented and I was also gobsmacked (in a completely over-the-top, jaw dropped, eyes wide, hands to the face, Home Alone sort of way) that he had thought I was going into politics.

I mean, I'm the freak who has a poster of the hookers from Sin City on his wall, not the election poster of John Howard from 1998! I'm the guy who quotes Kill Bill, who calls his friends padawan, who raves on and on about Emma Watson, who constantly drops uninteresting-but-personally-intriguing facts about films and whose freaking Myspace headline was 'I'm going to be the next Tarantino.'

I mean I see that and think immediately, 'He'll be a great politician.'

That was a lie. I know, I got myself there too.

Anyway, we never really finished the conversation which is a shame as I would have liked to yell all this at him but I guess then that it was a good thing that we were stopped. Back to the topic of politicians I believe I was told to mention Kevin Rudd in this blog, but I decided against it for three reasons; 1) I fear if I start on him Imay never finish as everything about him makes me angry 2) I really have nothing factual to say about him and 3) I don't like politics so why write a blog about them. Oh wait. That's right! I just did! To wipe your minds clean of this I will amaze you with something worth being amazed by:

So I spoke about this briefly a few entries back but I decided to elaborate as it really looks amazing. The film revolves around a new planet called Pandora where blue humanoid aliens (see below) roam peacefully. The human race creates a hybrid species called Avatars (half-human, half-cyborg) that are able to be sent into the planet and controlled by a telepathic link. But one of the Avatars (Sam Worthington, robot from the latest Terminator, born and bred in Australia) falls in love with an alien princess (Zoe Saldana from Star Trek) and my guess is some crazy stuff follows. It was written by James Cameron 14 years ago but the technology to make his ideas into a reality was unavailable so it was postponed. Luckily for us that technology is now in existence and after 4 years of hard work it is almost here. Avatar is going to be fantastic and it comes out on December 18th.

Let's just hope there is no mention whatsoever of that 90's song 'I'm Blue' otherwise I'll have to kill someone.

Cliches.

Isn't it annoying when you go to say something and then realise it's a cliche? That thousands upon thousands of people have used this line, have taken full advantage of it, so many times in fact that not only is this line treated as corny and overused but all meaning it once held has been lost?

I find this problem getting to me, more and more, recently. Call me sentimental but it's hard to accept the fact that this is my final year in school and that I may not be seeing a lot of the people I have come to know ever again. In light of this I have been trying to encourage those I know to actually do what it takes to get what they want instead of just bumming out, marrying young, birthing several annoying boys, getting divorced and retiring at the age of sixty, saggy, bitter and toothless, as is the custom nowadays.

Yet even I know it would be hard to take me seriously (and I can be serious) when I'm saying things like 'shoot for the stars!' and 'follow your dreams!'. This is because those things are said so much (normally by weird men with slicked hair, big glasses, shirt and tie encouraging us to go for gold and to touch them in their bathing suit areas) that they are rated as 'UNCOOL' instead of 'COOL'.

So I decided to try and find some new phrases to use that would see me getting happy, excited faces instead of shut-the-hell-up faces. But, alas, it didn't work. Instead I came full circle and realised, to my annoyance, that they are cliche's because they're all we have. 'Try hard you little Trooper!' just doesn't have the same ring to it as 'Go for gold!' and 'Make sure you do what you really want to do because if you don't you'll die a slow, painful death to the hands of the Japanese Yakuza!' just doesn't feel as light and fluffy as 'Only you can make your dreams a reality!'.

So what to do in this conundrum? Well, we already have the answer. Because of this situation (and due majorly to the fact that we are so unoriginal we can't even produce new phrases) we created the line 'It sounds stupid (or dumb, or cliched, or overused, or hilariously lame) but seriously....' This phrase is used to keep us safe from those shut-the-hell up looks (god damn them) and the ratings of 'UNCOOL'.

It works. I use it. 'It sounds stupid but seriously, you have to follow your heart.' - Quote me. Yesterday. So perhaps we need to embrace the cliche instead of hating it or putting it in the bad ratings box (alongside anything on Channel 9, southern cross tattoos and gossiping middle-aged women with coffee breath and bad smoking habits). Perhaps the cliche just needs some loving.

In other news director Robert Rodriquez who is sometimes in my list of favourites and then sometimes not is releasing Red Sonja next year based on the comic series and starring his fiancee (and mega babe) Rose McGowan.

Admit it, it looks awesome, let's just hope Rodriguez is in a Sin City mood while making this and not a Planet Terror mood, or worse, a Spy Kids 3.

PS: Check out the awesome flashing Che pic!

Glee.

Next up on my list of things to see is this:You may have seen the add or two for it on TEN, and it looked rad so I decided to put a little research in. This show is a comedy about a high school glee club (like a drama club but with songs) and revolves around the two main characters (the modest, talented but innocent performer and the apprehensive, torn jock who loves to sing!) and is created by the dude that made Nip/Tuck (can't say I've ever watched an episode but meh). Anyway the makers of the show originally wanted it to be a film but the idea behind it was workable ("Its a movie" "We'll give you 100 million dollars to make it TV show" "Okay") so they decided to make it into a show. Now this is the exciting part (other than all the stuff I've just said), because of the grand scale of every song in the show some episodes can take up to 10 days to film and cost over $3 million dollars. Yeah. I'm pretty sure the budget for a Neighbours episode is around $3,000 (that includes every actors salary) so as you can see this show is going to be epic. Exhibit A: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Akr9fRajrKM and Exhibit B: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WzWrnsASi3c&feature=fvw .

In other news, filming for The Room is going awesome. We're getting into the juicy stuff though so it is getting a little intense and I am beginning to understand the term 'holy mother of god I am so stressed!' but it is all good and I mean, I have time to blog right, so it can't be that bad? Next time I will have some lovely screenshots of the project that you can gleefully drool over.

Finally, prepare for Harry Potter. Emma Watson is coming. And oh my she looks fine.